[Feb. 14, 1960] A Valentine's Day gift (...In Distress, original fiction)

[galacticjourney]

Today's post is going to be a change of pace. This column is usually reserved for comments on the work of other persons. Today, you get to see the first publication ever of an original piece. If this is a successful experiment, more may follow.

Happy Valentine's Day!

----

...In Distress

by Gideon Marcus


illustrated by David Swanson

(removed--I want to see if I can publish this!)

Comments

Good work

[victoria_silverwolf]

This was very good. The near future setting was quite realistic and convincing. The characterization was nicely done. You have a calm, matter-of-fact style which adds to the story's verisimilitude.

The trick you play on the reader's expectations was clever. I admit it took me in. One should never make unwarranted assumptions!

(One quibble: "I was not resented, but nor was I particularly well-liked." is awkward. I would say either "I was not resented, nor was I particularly well-liked." or "I was not resented, but I was not particularly well-liked." These two phrases have slightly different meanings, to me, so pick the one you think is more appropriate.)

Re: Good work

[galacticjourney]

Responding to your quibble, I chose a fourth option. Thanks for the suggestion!