[Feb. 14, 1960] A Valentine's Day gift (...In Distress, original fiction)

[galacticjourney]

Today's post is going to be a change of pace. This column is usually reserved for comments on the work of other persons. Today, you get to see the first publication ever of an original piece. If this is a successful experiment, more may follow.

Happy Valentine's Day!

----

...In Distress

by Gideon Marcus


illustrated by David Swanson

(removed--I want to see if I can publish this!)

Comments

[stardreamer]

I'd like to see more of this story! You've got a good introduction to your characters and your setting there.

Good work

[victoria_silverwolf]

This was very good. The near future setting was quite realistic and convincing. The characterization was nicely done. You have a calm, matter-of-fact style which adds to the story's verisimilitude.

The trick you play on the reader's expectations was clever. I admit it took me in. One should never make unwarranted assumptions!

(One quibble: "I was not resented, but nor was I particularly well-liked." is awkward. I would say either "I was not resented, nor was I particularly well-liked." or "I was not resented, but I was not particularly well-liked." These two phrases have slightly different meanings, to me, so pick the one you think is more appropriate.)

[galacticjourney]

Oh dear! I hadn't planned on it being a novel!

But if you find the characters compelling, I shall think on it. And if you'd like to send me a private letter, perhaps you have some ideas to share. I'm happy to share credit.

Re: Good work

[galacticjourney]

Responding to your quibble, I chose a fourth option. Thanks for the suggestion!

Casidi

[(Anonymous)]

Loved it!! The twist at the end was brilliant! And I liked the subtle inside joke :)

Re: Casidi

[galacticjourney]

I'm glad you enjoyed!

[glymr]

I really liked this! I love stories that make you go back and read them again with a different perspective after you finish them.

[galacticjourney]

Isn't it amazing what preconceived notions can do?

I tend to, just as a mental exercise, picture my protagonists as African women until told otherwise. Why not?