This was very good. The near future setting was quite realistic and convincing. The characterization was nicely done. You have a calm, matter-of-fact style which adds to the story's verisimilitude.
The trick you play on the reader's expectations was clever. I admit it took me in. One should never make unwarranted assumptions!
(One quibble: "I was not resented, but nor was I particularly well-liked." is awkward. I would say either "I was not resented, nor was I particularly well-liked." or "I was not resented, but I was not particularly well-liked." These two phrases have slightly different meanings, to me, so pick the one you think is more appropriate.)
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timeasmymeasure
Good work
Date: 2015-02-15 04:47 pm (UTC)The trick you play on the reader's expectations was clever. I admit it took me in. One should never make unwarranted assumptions!
(One quibble: "I was not resented, but nor was I particularly well-liked." is awkward. I would say either "I was not resented, nor was I particularly well-liked." or "I was not resented, but I was not particularly well-liked." These two phrases have slightly different meanings, to me, so pick the one you think is more appropriate.)